Happy Birthmother's Day

Birthmother's Day is not actually today, but the Saturday before Mother's Day.

Today Trey and I attended our first of two trainings with our adoption agency. One of the topics discussed was open adoption and relationships with birthmothers. I have to say, this was one of the things that really scared me in considering domestic adoption. Now, it is one of the things I like most about domestic adoption.

There are a lot of misconceptions about birthmothers. One common misconception is that they must not care about their child to "give them up." I've even had a few people make comments to me about how it's such a shame that a mom could just give her baby away. Two birthmothers shared their stories today at the training and I must tell you, there is absolutely no truth in that statement. We got to hear these young ladies tearfully tell the stories of how much they loved their babies and how they weighed heavily the decision to parent, choose adoption, or even abortion. Adoption for them was not an immediate, easy decision. As they considered their options, they realized there was so much they could not provide for their babies. Both wanted their children to experience the love of a father and a stable family life. Something they desperately wanted for themselves as well, but just couldn't provide. It was painful and scary for them to think about another family raising their child. The only comfort came in knowing they would forever have a link to their child, an ability to know them, and a family who would commit to communicating the depth of their love. These women carried their babies 9 months, felt them move, held them when they were born, and changed their first diapers. They bonded with their little ones and deeply love their children. I can't fathom making this sacrifice. Birthmothers are brave. One of them even faced ridicule from her family who told her adoption was just like throwing your baby in a dumpster, an act of abandonment. These words were so wounding. Both of them shared how healing it was to be loved by their adoptive families and to see their children given the same love they have for their children. This is a huge source of peace for them.

Trey and I are excited and anxious for when the time comes to meet our birthmother. We so desire a close relationship to develop. We also know relationships are risky. We know all relationships hold the potential for great pain and also great joy. We want to take the risk or obviously we wouldn't be headed down this road.

We ask for you to join us this Birthmother's Day (or any day) for praying for our birthmom. Wherever she is right now, she has a tough road ahead. Pray for us too, that God would cast out any fear.

Adoption Update

There's not a whole lot to report, but we are really excited to learn that an opening has come available for the May1 training with our agency. We are required to attend two trainings (Spring and Fall) and unfortunately the Spring training was booked when we first met with our agency in February. That meant we would have had our first training next November and the second training next Spring. We were so thrilled to hear there was an opening. Placements are not contingent upon having attended both trainings, but ideally we want to learn as much as possible before the baby comes.

We continue to wait for a home study. It will most likely be scheduled next month. We have a few more things to complete to get our profile ready in the meantime.

I look forward to sharing more soon about all we are learning!

MS 150

I am so proud of Trey for finishing the MS 150. With 8.5 miles to go, he calls me from the rest stop and tells me he's just not sure how he's going to finish. I've never heard him sound doubtful about finishing anything. He took a little rest, pressed on, and 8.5 miles later, this is what I saw:

And this is what he saw:

And the final stop:

My camera skills were not so great at capturing my friend's husband, that's him on the right.

Also, no pictures of Trey and I (bummer), but I did manage to get the bird poop that landed on Laura's head as we cheered on the riders. Thank goodness for all the riders who were carrying anti-bacterial wipes. You never know how they might come in handy.

Sick, flashback to when a bird pooped on my head when I was shopping at the outlet mall in college. I gagged both times. Sorry for any sensitive viewers!

Amazing Adoption Stories

Today I read two adoption stories that brought tears to my eyes. Oh, how I love hearing how God works through this amazing process. If you have a moment, grab a tissue, and read one or both of these:

http://s3.amazonaws.com/1142.assets/bissons-story.pdf

http://www.aboverubies.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=809:adoptions-orphans-tuckers-story&catid=24&Itemid=55

Exteme Chair Makeover

So I tackled a very daunting project. Something about sewing a beginner purse pattern made me feel very ambitious, and so I decided it was time to reupholster a glider Trey's mom gave us. I actually drove around with these cushions for two months last summer in hopes I would remember to find a place to reupholster cushions for a reasonable price. Of course, I would inevitably forget they were in the back of the car until it was time load groceries, ughh! I eventually gave up and returned the cushions back to the chair, but every time I passed this chair it called to me, "Please give me a new outfit. I feel so old and dingy." So when I saw JoAnn's was having a sale (60% off home decor fabric), I was convinced it was time. I wish I had a picture of the before, but this will have to do.

This is the original fabric from the cushions after I attacked them with a seam ripper. Did anyone have a childhood flashback? This is the same color as the shag carpet in my neighbor's house growing up. I used the fabric pieces as my pattern and tried to remember how it was all sewn together. And the final results...

I'm not sure how to rotate images yet, but I was quite proud of the piping and tufting for a first time job. This chair is no longer ashamed to greet your fanny!

Sew Much Fun

Thanks to my friend Rachel, I have rediscovered sewing. The last time I touched a sewing machine was in 7th grade in a Home Ec. class. (Am I writing that correct, what the heck is the "ec" in home ec?). Honestly, when I think of sewing, I think of elastic waistband jams (I made 3 pairs), floral jumpers (yup, I wore mine in public), and clown suits. Nope, not clown costumes, but the big puffy-sleeved, puffy-legged, one piece outfits. I never had one, but I picked out the fabric for one. My mom was going to make it and never got around to it, so later a friend made me a quilt out of it for college. I'm really thankful now that I never had the clown suit. Pictures of me in my homemade floral jumper are quite enough. We even had a fashion show in our class to model all our creations for our parents.

All that to say, the world of sewing has come a long way. There's even fabric that doesn't scream, "Make me into a clownsuit!" So, with some money I'd stashed away from past birthdays, I bought a sewing maching and this week made my first project. The Birdie Sling from Amy Butler.

Rachel and I worked on these together one afternoon, then I brought it home to finish up. I think it's pretty darn cute myself. The green is actually reminscent of some neon green, elastic waistband shorts I wore in the '80's. It looks toned down in the pics and when I ordered the fabric online. It frightened me a bit at first, but has grown on me.

Oh, and here's my helper (this is not Rachel)!

My sweet Maggie. She just learned a new trick. She can now shake hands, err paws, hmm...paw to hand. Next, we'll work on operating the sewing pedal.

Daily Bread

Last night, Trey and I attended a meeting on transracial adoption at a local church. This church has an amazing adoption and orphan ministry that connects families with other families who are in the process of adopting or have already adopted. We got to hear from two moms who have raised African American daughters and we got to hear from one of their daughters. At the end there was a time for questions and answers. One parent, who is adopting from Ethiopia, raised her hand and said in an overwhelmed voice, "How do you do it all?" She continued, "How do you make education decisions, connect them with families or children who share their culture, learn their language, figure out hair styling techniques, deal with attachment and bonding issues, deal with sibling issues, deal with family issues, deal with peer issues"......the list could keep going.

Even though our list may not look exactly like hers, that question remains, "How do you do it all?" The underlying fear is, "Do we have what it takes?" That question strikes a chord.

One of the speakers so graciously replied, "Daily bread." She reminded us that God supplies our needs one need at a time, one day at a time. He gives us the grace we need in the moment we need it. The two mothers who had shared their experiences with transracial adoption proceeded to give specific accounts of how the Lord had met their needs at just the right times in the lives of their daughters. Their testimony was not that God just met their needs, but that He also met their daughters' needs. This may be simple, but it's amazing to me today. God will meet our needs as parents, but He will also meet our child's needs. The issues we talked about last night were tough. They made us want to protect our future child from a world of hurt. Although we want to be as equipped as possible to travel this road, it is so comforting to know God is bigger than our failures and short comings.

How often do I need that reminder, "Daily bread." As we were driving home, Trey commented, "I'll never view the Lord's prayer the same."

Philippians 4:19
19And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.