Adoption Beginnings

As most of you know, Trey and I have started the adoption process! I wanted to start this blog so we can share the journey with you and so we have a way to remeber how God has worked throughout this process. Below is an edited answer to the first question on our screening application, "Why are you interested in adoption?"

Both Trey and I knew we were open to adoption well before we got married. I always knew I wanted a big family and I sensed that if I got married, adoption would be in God’s plan for our family. When we were dating we discovered adoption was something we both desired regardless of whether we could have biological children. After we were married, we both felt like we would probably have a few children and then start the adoption process. It was really just a matter of timing.

After a year of trying to get pregnant, we saw a fertility specialist who diagnosed me with anovulation and recommended clomid/IUI cycles. We were game and decided to pursue treatment. Around the same time, we started researching international adoption agencies and listening to people’s adoption stories. One couple’s story really stood out to us. They mentioned that a lot of people view adoption as Plan B for their family. This family shared that they felt there is not Plan A or Plan B, but God’s plan. We realized our plan had been to have children first, then adopt, but that we had not considered God may have something totally different.

At that point we signed up to attend an adoption information meeting with America World Adoption Agency (I was leaning toward international adoption from China and Trey was leaning toward domestic adoption). I knew the China process was long, which in the back of my mind was perfect because if we got pregnant, we could still have a biological baby and adopt and have a reasonable amount of time between our children. Not too long after signing up for the adoption seminar we found out we were pregnant. We were thrilled, but our excitement was short-lived as we found out we would soon miscarry after five short weeks of being pregnant. We were absolutely crushed! We eventually saw two fertility specialists who told us we could become more aggressive in our fertility treatment, but we just weren't ready for that. At that point we decided we did not want to pursue further treatment, but rather try natural means such as diet and herbs to try and get my body in sync.

We went forward with attending the adoption information meeting with AWAA and again our hearts were stirred. At that point we decided we were ready to start the adoption process for China. We were soon disappointed to find out we would need to be married for two more years before we could start the process in China. It was clear we needed to either wait or it was time to look at other options.

Now up until this time I had been hesitant to even consider domestic adoption because of many fears. Open adoption terrified me! The risk of having a birthmother change her mind and decide to parent her child seemed like too much to handle. Raising a child with an open adoption seemed risky and scary. I even almost had Trey convinced that domestic adoption was not a good choice for us based on my fears. Then, I started reading books about adoption and ended up hearing more and more stories of people who had adopted domestically or placed a child for adoption and I started to realize that many of my fears were based on false assumptions or sinful attitudes regarding parenting and the adoption process. I had been considering my feelings and safety and comfort more than what could be best for a child. I know God has much more to teach me in this area, but for the first time I began seriously exploring domestic adoption.

At this point Trey was open to either domestic or international adoption. One evening Trey and I wrote down all our fears regarding domestic and international adoption and found scripture to address each fear. We both needed to relinquish our fears and preconceived ideas of what we thought was best to the Lord. We began a process of praying for the right timing and right decision. At this time, all the choices of agencies and countries seemed overwhelming. We decided that by January we would make a decision. Over a matter of time, we both came to a place where we knew domestic adoption was the right decision for us!